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Mark Farley's avatar

Greta is so correct about vanishing at a certain age…

And for best reasons my brain can only understand, I thought of the poem by Jenny Joseph called “Warning” the opening lines sprang into my mind …

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

Greta, follow the poem’s advice and you will always be noticed!! 😁

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

Love it. 🙏✨

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Karen Langston's avatar

Mark, I’m curious, I’m not sure what “age” bracket you fall within … if it is the “distinguished” do you find the invisibility cloak has found you as well? I have been wondering if this is a female feeling or male as well?

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

Good question.

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Mark Farley's avatar

I’m 65, I have found that you are overlooked, almost bullied in certain situations and ignored. As described in the cafe.

When out wandering I dress drab.

However, now when I go out, I would give Steve Van Zandt stiff competition. I’m Noticed and avoided, win, win!

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

HA! Work it out, Farley Van Zandt! I love that comparison.

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Karen Langston's avatar

Maybe that is the key then! I do much the same.. my pants are loud or I wear stuff that gives a double take. And I do get compliments on what I wear -- however, I really like the complements from the younger generation --now that makes me swell with pride LOL

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Mark Farley's avatar

That’s excellent news, one of the young waitresses at the farm shop cafe said “she liked my look”!

Because I wear a lot of fairtrade clothing, she was interested where I bought my clothes from!! As you say, great for the ego!

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Mark Farley's avatar

If only I could play the guitar or any musical instrument. First primary school banned me from the choir, I wasn’t allowed to mime either.

The psychological damage that’s caused me 🤪🙏

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

No miming?!?! How rude😄😉

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Mark Farley's avatar

More trauma! My first school at the age of 8! English was probably my third language, and my mother no longer had any staff.

Fun, fun, fun!!!

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

But she did have her garden gloves😆

Awesome poem recommendation,btw

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Mark Farley's avatar

So true, I can’t speak…. & pristine white wellington boots!

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

😆😄

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Black Cats and Poppies's avatar

I had no idea I was going to become invisible... all along I thought it was my life light that people saw in me. Now I know that the people who still see me are those with a brighter light themselves.

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Karen Langston's avatar

Girl, you know I’m relating to Marjorie “ Even walking with my beautiful thirty year old daughter, I might as well be her coat rack. “ I had this experience in New York recently. I was the invisible coat rack next to her. Everywhere we went men were buying her drinks.

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

HA! It's kinda like we just had this conversation IRL😁

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Karen Langston's avatar

Yes, I feel like you "get me" 🤣🤣

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Betty Boldbrew's avatar

😂😂

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Simone Kornalijnslijper's avatar

Inspiring story Betty, so true, gives many of us food for thought 🩶

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Tim Ebl 🇨🇦's avatar

I’ve noticed that after 50, you need to have confident assertion and speak your mind, or even at that young age you’ll get overlooked. Now at 57, I’m louder than ever to keep my corporate space. Otherwise, you get bullied. I’ve noticed it seems much worse for the ladies. But that might partially be because they don’t step in front like I do and make themselves obvious. I don’t take invisibility lying down. I spray paint myself visible again by addressing people by name, commenting loudly when I have a valid point of view, and making sure to compliment others when their input is useful.

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Karen Langston's avatar

I am sorry to hear -- but feel good to know -- that men are just as hit by this as women. I honestly thought it was just a female thing, but, apparently it is not. Thank you Tim for chiming in and with some good ideas!

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